I’ve been feeding myself to you nightly, almost a full week at this point. You have been gentle, you have been assertive, you have hurt me, you have drowned me in your pussy, we have fought. I say your name, three times three times, and beg you to come. You don’t emerge from the shadows when you arrive. It’s like car headlights scan the windows, and the light that makes it through drawn curtains reveals you standing at the foot of my bed as if you were always there.

A fantasy about our world. The oven is preheated to crisp off the delivery, still currently five minutes away according to the app. The house is yours, and you invited me along for the ride. “If you hadn’t wriggled about so much we wouldn’t be racing the delivery driver,” I chide gently. I’ve finally, finally got your wrists comfortably tied to one another behind your back. I’m currently looping rope between the wrist tie and an ankle tie that keeps you in a relaxed kneeling posture on your bed.

Blood is the ultimate diet food. You clap your hands and squeal with delight as I read the scales. “From 161 kilos on the weekend you have… Wow. Rowing has made a difference. Swimming has made a difference.” “What is it? What is it? Tell me!” Your belly is certainly a fraction smaller and less prone to roll, though the skin is still as smooth and pliant as if you had been made at this weight.

Beside me your grin bares fangs made scarlet with my blood. “Which payment now finds itself due. Who’s first?” It doesn’t matter. You’ve already chosen. Leanne looks up at you like a cornered gazelle looks at the lioness stalking towards it. “Just a taste,” you say. Blood drains from her face as she takes in the sight of your body. You clearly do not struggle for prey. “You will be fine.

Wednesday isn’t one person, but three. After a monster session rowing at the gym, fuelled by yesterday’s offering from Lucy and brute determination, you come home to find me ready to head out. First things first: a warm embrace and a deep kiss welcomes you back. “Missed you. Hungry? We’re eating out.” We meet the trio in a room in the Student Union. I lead us to it directly, despite it being in the bowels of quite an old and architecturally chequered building.

You feel my heart flutter. Connected as we are the red spring palpably hesitates where it passes between your lips. Your practiced gut stretches to take almost half of me and your first and deepest instinct is to suck harder, pulling out my essence where before it flowed into you. “‘Ven,” I murmur, voice thick, slow. “I lov—” You place a hand over my mouth. Last words are muffled into incoherence.

I jump out from the kitchen with a tea towel tense between both hands. Landing in a deep squat I scan the living room, seeking my quarry. All still. Three oblique steps carry me 180 degrees around the centre of the room. My head is never still, scanning the air for the faintest shimmer of movement. My frown of concentration breaks into recognition. “Ahah!” I say and wheel around on the ball of my foot into a ready stance, tea towel held underhand with my left hand drawn back past my hip.

The first time we attend the gym together since your excesses our oftentimes gym buddies Lucy and Shaun are struck silent. You’ve changed so much in a few short days. “What did you—” begins Shaun, but he’s cut off. “How?!” demands Lucy. Behind them you see me, the twist of disdain at the corners of my mouth when Shaun speaks, the quirk upwards for Lucy. I prefer her intrigue to his judgement.

I started strong. I always do. You let me get away with a couple of rounds. “Oh! It was only the King of Hearts!” My victory dance bounces off your patient smile. Patient like a snake lying in wait. “You have four hearts already, huh? Impressive.” I nod and look back to the cross. When there’s a project or game I switch between hyper and serious at the drop of a hat.

Despite spending more time together these days we’re quite independent. Well, you’re independent. Other than family and the occasional wild-camping trip, I seem to have bent my whole life around you. It means sometimes I find you upset and you don’t want to talk about the reasons. It took me time but I learned how to give you a little emotional support without overstepping and trying to solve your problems for you.