altar

You’ll be out tonight. I knew you would be but found myself feeling jealous. I laughed when I realised. The absurdity of it: the mouse possessive of the cat! Naming the emotion cured the pain and opened me to acceptance: the truth is, I love your independence and wildness. So now when I think of you with others it fills me with joy, and I think how lucky I am that you choose to spend some of your time with me.

And the fact is I’m lucky now. You’re with me for the next hour or so. Which is why you’re sitting in the vanity chair looking slightly bemused at my sudden fervour. I think you don’t quite understand why I’m so devoted to you but over time you’ve learned to trust it.

The fact is that I feel super lucky. You watch me kneeling, brows slightly furrowed in concentration. With a lip brush I’m painting the arch of your top lip. My inexperience with makeup makes me slow but the mirror shows my lines to be precise. The brush is just this side of ticklish as it draws a curve to the corner of your open mouth.

Your open mouth. My altar. I know you see nothing special in mouths, but my heart is pounding seeing the light just barely touch your tongue, leaving the depths in darkness. I’m thinking of the pleasure your mouth has given and taken, the atrocities committed and the gentle words spoken. Your warm and ready smile stands in deep contrast to the violence latent in your knife-sharp fangs. I have seen this organ perform the opposite of miracles, swallowing children and the willing and the kicking-and-screaming, but right now it’s as innocent as any woman’s—if, like the rest of you, uncommonly beautiful.

Satisfied with the upper lip I start on your full lower. The first slash of burgundy is a reckless declaration of love. The careful strokes afterward are a promise that I will be steadfast and caring and yours yours yours forever. Maybe that’s not obvious to you. Maybe you see my brows and my concentration-frown and miss the way my eyes glint with deepest joy. But you’re not one to miss details and besides, you can hear it in my heartbeat. Let the rest of the world have you, let you take others and revel in your nature. For just this moment, you are mine and I am yours.