cheat day

The first time we attend the gym together since your excesses our oftentimes gym buddies Lucy and Shaun are struck silent. You’ve changed so much in a few short days.

“What did you—” begins Shaun, but he’s cut off.

“How?!” demands Lucy.

Behind them you see me, the twist of disdain at the corners of my mouth when Shaun speaks, the quirk upwards for Lucy. I prefer her intrigue to his judgement.

“Cheat day,” you explain breezily. “Let’s play chase again.”

With the extra weight your footfalls are loud on the treadmill, and you definitely feel the additional strain. I keep ahead of you during the intervals without too much trouble, and Shaun manages to keep ahead.

Dark horse Lucy flirts with escaping, keeping pace with you on an exhausting simulated uphill stretch. Then she glances at you. Her stride slows the barest fraction.

You finish the distance two seconds before her. She meets your gaze then lowers her eyes and runs her cool down.

Lucy struggles sometimes with how she’s feeling. Lucy likes you, maybe likes you likes you. Lucy has been talking with me about her suffering, and I only planted the seed of an idea of a beautiful, selfless death once.

I watch Lucy drink from her bottle, never taking her eyes off your body as you round off your cardio. The idea seems to have sprouted.